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How Do We Keep Track of In-Memory Gifts and Let the Family Know Who Has Given?

Charities receive in-memory gifts from funeral collections and online tribute pages but cannot tell families who gave. We build a tribute record that does.

Updated 3 min readBy SpiderHunts Technologies

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Quick answer — TL;DR

In-memory gifts arrive from funeral directors, online tribute pages, bank transfers and cards, and the family usually wants to know who gave and how much was raised in their loved one's name. We build a tribute record per person remembered that gathers every gift, respects each donor's choice about sharing, and produces a sensitive, accurate update for the family.

A family asks how much was raised for Dad

A man who was cared for by your hospice dies, and his family asks for donations in his memory instead of flowers. The funeral director sends a cheque with a list of names a few weeks later. Friends give online through a tribute page. Some send cards with cash to your office. A few colleagues set up bank transfers with his name in the reference.

Two months on, his daughter rings to ask how much was raised and who gave, so she can thank people. The gifts are scattered across the bank, the tribute platform and the post book. Some donors are in the database against his name, some against their own, and some not at all. The answer she gets is incomplete, and at a painful time that matters.

Why in-memory giving is so scattered

In-memory gifts come from people who may never have heard of your charity, through whatever route they find, at a time when details are hard to ask for.

  • Funeral directors send collections in their own format, sometimes weeks after the funeral.
  • Tribute pages sit on a separate platform with their own donor data.
  • Cash and cheques in cards are logged by whoever opens the post.
  • Bank transfers mention the person's name in many spellings, or not at all.
  • Donors differ in whether they want the family told their name or amount.
  • There is no single record for the person being remembered.

The link that matters, from each gift to the person remembered, is recorded differently on every route, or not at all.

What the gaps cost

Families who cannot get a clear picture feel let down at the worst possible time, and they talk about how the charity treated them. In-memory donors are often new to your cause, and a gift that is not properly acknowledged is a relationship that never starts.

Tribute funds that run over years, with birthdays and anniversaries, lose momentum when nobody can say what they have raised. Staff spend emotionally difficult time piecing together totals that should be to hand.

How we build the tribute record

  1. A tribute record is created for each person remembered, with the family contact and how they want to be kept informed.
  2. Funeral director collection lists are entered or read from their documents by an extraction step, with a person confirming each line against the original.
  3. Tribute page gifts are pulled in from the platform's API or export and linked to the tribute record.
  4. Bank transfers and post are matched by name and reference, with close spellings proposed for a person to confirm.
  5. Each gift records whether the donor is happy for the family to know their name and amount, following what they said when they gave.
  6. A family update is produced on request or at intervals you choose, listing donors who agreed to be named and the total, worded with care and checked by a person before sending.
  7. Donors receive a thank-you that mentions the person they gave in memory of, and are recorded as in-memory supporters in your CRM.
Gift routeHow it is linkedChecked by
Funeral director collectionList read and matched to the tributeSupporter care team
Online tribute pagePlatform data linked automaticallySpot checks
Card with cash in the postLogged at opening with the namePerson opening post
Bank transfer with a name referenceProposed matchFinance or supporter care

Every message to a family is read by a person before it goes. Nothing about a bereavement is left to an automated send.

When a family calls afterwards

When a family member rings, the person answering opens the tribute record and can see every gift, the total and which donors are happy to be named. If the family would like a written summary to share at a memorial, it can be prepared that afternoon and checked before it goes.

On an anniversary, the charity can send the family a thoughtful update, because the fund's history is in one place.

Is this familiar?

  • Families ask how much was raised and the answer takes days.
  • Funeral director collections are entered long after they arrive.
  • Tribute page donors never reach your database.
  • You are unsure which donors agreed to be named to the family.
  • Long-running tribute funds have no running total.

FAQ

Frequently asked questions

The questions readers ask us after this guide.

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Ask about your project

Does this send messages to bereaved families automatically?

No. Updates are prepared by the system and read and sent by a person.

What about donors who want to stay anonymous?

Their choice is recorded on the gift, and they are left out of any family update, while still counting in the total if you choose.

Can it work with our tribute page platform?

If the platform offers an API or export, gifts are linked automatically. Otherwise they can be imported regularly.

Do we need a new CRM?

No. The tribute record can sit in your existing CRM if it supports it, or alongside and write back to it.

Keep reading

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